Before exploring what is the best predictor of success, we should first address the definition of success. Success means different things to different people. However, as a Life Coach, I would define success as the achievement of a lifestyle that suits you best, for you and your family, and that brings you joy and a sense of fulfillment.
As people cherish and prioritize various things in life, success might mean a simpler life and a lower salary for some and power and a higher salary for others…
Research shows that our probability to succeed in life is a lot higher if our emotional intelligence (EQ) is high and that EQ is a much higher predictor of success than IQ. So, what does this really mean?
People with high emotional intelligence have insights about themselves and others. They know themselves well, respect themselves and others, know how to listen, relate to others, and emotionally regulate.
Unfortunately, emotional intelligence is not learned anywhere else but at home when we are raised by our care givers, most likely our parents or grandparents. School was primarily designed to prepare children to function financially and become a productive part of society by learning a trade but was not primarily designed to teach us how to interact in a healthy way with others and develop insights about ourselves.
In reality, achieving success by using our emotional intelligence requires us to understand what we want and what is best for us, regardless of external influences or pressures. Often, we feel the pressure of society, which creates a lot of anxiety and depression, especially among young adults. This anxiety is fueled by an unhealthy gap between our personal values and perceived societal expectations. The road to success is to design the life we want regardless of those external pressures and use our emotional intelligence as our compass in this quest.
In the 60’s, Dr. Aaron T. Beck, a psychiatrist at the University of Pennsylvania, created CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Behavioral psychology was born and recognized that our beliefs and thoughts were responsible for the creation of our feelings and moods which in turns drives our behaviors. Learning to understand, recognize, and manage our thoughts help us acquire a higher emotional intelligence. This higher enlightenment allows us to better manage our moods, stay better connected to our logical brain, and consequently, generate better outcomes for our lives.
The good news is that, if you believe you need to improve your Emotional intelligence, you can further develop the skill at any age. CBT is a powerful tool to strengthen our emotional intelligence in our personal lives. Here at MRC and Laureavida Wellness, most of our therapists and our coach are certified in CBT and help children, teens, and adults each day acquire a higher sense of enlightenment for a healthier and more fulfilling life. Make sure to reach out and contact us if you feel stuck or are not able to create the life you want!